[kostas]

I think I see KIA coming with a lock in his hand

[discobay]

Yes please KIA put us out of the misery that has become this thread - lock me down!!!!!!!

[pdx]

Originally Posted by bacardidrinker

AF- if a Indian/Pacific Islander/Negro with the same personality as the WM, would you be in a relationship with them?

Deep down, you all know the answer to these questions.

I have dated men of various races -- Chinese, Filipino, African American, Guamanian and white (my husband). And if there were some weird world where you could find two men with the "same personality," I'd marry the guy who wasn't white. I'd get to learn about another culture if my husband were of another ethnicity, or maybe we'd both be Chinese and empathize about having nagging Chinese mothers. (My husband is so "Americanized" he has no roots/family history beyond his California neighborhood, so he's getting the better end of the bargain as far as cultural exposure from our marriage. If I were married to an Indian guy, I would get invited to amazing Indian weddings and hopefully have terrific homecooked meals instead of being forced to eat my mother-in-law's nasty meatloaf.) But I live on planet Earth, where your chances of learning and having cool experiences dramatically increase if you don't choose your friends or significant others by skin color, hair color or whatever prejudiced criteria you wanna throw in there. In my case, my husband is a big goofball who makes me laugh. That's why I started falling for him, despite his mom's meatloaf.

So much for your "test."

[ali2u]

bacardidrinker - you are making generalizations based on your narrow outlook. How old are you? Younger people do tend to judge on appearance more. There are plenty of Westerners both male and female who have chosen partners from Asia based on personality alone. As you get older most people realize personality is the most important.

I am white and my partner is Chinese. I am certainly not chasing "exotic babes" as she was certainly not looking for a "white man"

What you are saying is wrong and insulting to many people such as myself.


.

[kirlex]

sylvesterjay you make Don Cherry seem tame!

About WM-AF couples: So what? Opposites attract. As for those 50 year old WM with 20 year old AF, that has nothing to do with race but with $$$.

[sylvesterjay]

Yup yup, I call em as I see em. I dress better than Don Cherry does tho

[cb1118]

why the AF choose the WM is because the person is more "caring" about her feeling than native AM?

in the way of culture and education,
Asian Male's mind is more negative. it may be the past history or personal experience. it's not easy for Asian Male to think "positive" of everything especially when he knows it is wrong.

but in Western culture, people are educated to talk very positive (or simply very smooth) about everything.

there has been a psychology study.

(1)no one likes to listen to negative feedback of any kind.
(2)woman likes to talk about her problems and likes to be with "good listener". by being a good listener is very simple. you just need to simply listen to what she says.
(3)but, never try to give her "options" or "suggestions" that may solve her questions... because woman wants to talk about the problem, but no intention to do something about it. woman just wants to find a listener so she can speak out of what's troubling her in thoughts. if a man gives "more suggestions" or "talking about ways to change the question"....it means the man is giving more things for her to think about (which her mind was just occupied with trouble thoughts awhile ago)

basically, as long as you listen, she will be happy (very happy, in fact)
but never
(a)mention about time during conversation (it only shows that you are impatient to listen to her words.)
(b)reject her words immediately (which most Chinese men do)
(c)give opinions!! **the best opinions you can give is to say something that's "meaningless" but make her feel "caring and relief"

(3)only speaks what she likes to hear **even you are lying. she will prefer to hear lies, not truth....

(4)MAKE SURE, as a man, you can do all of the above, and do it even it's a lie!

[gaston]

Originally Posted by sylvesterjay

you know, with a name like Gaston, I would presume you are French...shouldn't you be used to rudeness?

Guess not bad but no banana...

(And I certainly agree that comment about the French... or shall we say the archetypcal Frenchman.)

[bacardidrinker]

Originally Posted by sylvesterjay

that is true of beautiful women everywhere, they have their choice. You sound jealous. A little penis envy maybe?

And given that newspaper article several months ago, that local couples needed sex counselling, cuz they couldn't figure out what the hell to do...well is it any wonder?

This is true- Beautiful women everywhere can choose from any man they want.

And for AF's, they have chosen WM over AM.

I notice no one desputes the fact that 4 times as many WM/AF couples were married in California than visa versa.

If there were no racial aspect at all, then it would be equal.

Blind Freddy can see that there are perhaps 4 to 5 WM/AF couples for every AM/WF couple.

There is often love involved.

But dont be naive and go the other extreme and say that it is all based on the personality of the other person.

There are lots of other factors- AF's have nicer smoother skin than WF's, AF's dont get as obese as WF's, AF's have a nice "exotic" feel to some men.

Anyway, the main point was that the Original Poster gets stares due to his interracial marriage, as well as the fact that he is Caucasian.

[bacardidrinker]

Originally Posted by ali2u

bacardidrinker - you are making generalizations based on your narrow outlook. How old are you? Younger people do tend to judge on appearance more. There are plenty of Westerners both male and female who have chosen partners from Asia based on personality alone. As you get older most people realize personality is the most important.

I am white and my partner is Chinese. I am certainly not chasing "exotic babes" as she was certainly not looking for a "white man"

What you are saying is wrong and insulting to many people such as myself.


.

The thing with this issue is that everyone tends to regard themselves as being a special unique person. Thus they think that they made their own decisions which are different to all others and they say that they each love each other for personality only.

But it ignores the fact that 80%+ Asian/White couples are WM/AF couples.

If personality is the basis for being in a relationship, then surely there would be equal numbers or WM/AF and AM/WF couples.

Thus in general, there are other factors which make this so.

And these factors are those I discussed before- race,social status, income, the AF is almost always attractive, etc.

It is a little like everyone knows someone else who is, say, arrogant, or a snob.

But that arrogant or snobbish person wil never see themselves as a snob.

Likewise, other people can see it if a WM is with a AF for reasons other than pure love, and if a AF is going with a WM for money/status/social standing/prefers white over asian.