[Nutta!]

Punchline: Just enter a local town you hated!

Yesterday, a friend of mine was travelling on a train out of London.
A man of Arabic appearance got off the train and my friend noticed that he had left his bag behind.

My friend grabbed the bag and ran after him, caught up with him in the terminal and handed him back his bag.

He was extremely grateful and reached into his bag which appeared to contain large bundles of money.

He looked around to make sure nobody was looking and whispered "I can never repay your kindness, but I will try to...with a word of advice for you. Stay away from Luton"

My friend was genuinely terrified. "Is there going to be an attack?" he asked him.

"No ... ", he whispered back......

"It's a sh*thole."

[martyn]

Originally Posted by @dorable

How Smart Is Your Right Foot? This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And you will keep trying it to see if you can outsmart your foot. But you can't!
1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles with it.



2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.



Your foot will change direction!!!



And there is nothing you can do about it.

I don't know... I think it can be done.

Just like that licking the elbow is impossible thing - I read somewhere, that someone was able to do it.

[@dorable]

ok then

[Nutta!]

Originally Posted by Max

A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer.
"Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent."
"One penny?!" exclaimed the guy.
The barman replied, "Yes."

So, the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas, and a salad?"
"Certainly sir," replies the bartender, "but all that comes to real money."

"How much money?" inquires the guy.
"Four cents," he replies.

"Four cents?!" exclaims the guy. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The barman replies, "Upstairs with my wife."

The guy says, "What's he doing with your wife?"
The bartender replies, "Same as what I'm doing to his business."

Fantastic.............

[Nutta!]

Originally Posted by martyn

I don't know... I think it can be done.

Just like that licking the elbow is impossible thing - I read somewhere, that someone was able to do it.

Someone, somewhere, over the rainbow la lalalal alallal la.

At the next meet, this will be your party trick then.......?

[martyn]

Originally Posted by Nutta!

Someone, somewhere, over the rainbow la lalalal alallal la.

At the next meet, this will be your party trick then.......?

Yep, I'll start practising now.

[martyn]

A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph.

The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce."

The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph. She then says, "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it, because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and he's a better lover than you."

Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as his anger increases.

She says, "I want the house." Again the husband speeds up, and now is doing 70 mph.

She says, "I want the kids too." The husband just keeps driving faster, and faster, now he's up to 80 mph.

She says, "I want the car, the checking account, and all the credit cards too."

The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass piling, as she says, "Is there anything you want?"

The husband says, "No, I've got everything I need."

She asks, "What's that?"

The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, "I've got the airbag!"

[chica]

all, get those headphones out....

http://www.lookatentertainment.com/n...vids/v-414.wmv

[martyn]

A man who is driving a car is stopped by a police officer. The following exchange takes place.... The man says, "What's the problem officer?"

Officer: "You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone."

Man: "No sir, I was going 65."

Wife: "Oh, Harry. You were going 80." (The man gives his wife a dirty look.)

Officer: "I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light."

Man: "Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!"

Wife: "Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks." (The man gives his wife another dirty look.)

Officer: "I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt."

Man: "Oh I just took it off when you were walking up to the car."

Wife: "Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt."

The man turns to his wife and yells, "SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"

The Officer turns to the woman and asks, "Ma'am, does your husband talk to you this way all the time?"

The wife says, "No, only when he's drunk."

[KnowItAll]

Folks .. tons of sites where jokes can be shared. Lets try and stay focused.

No use just copy pasting junk found all over the internet.