[DanielandHayley]

Originally Posted by Claire ex-ax

It's not a HK thing; it's a part of the Chinese culture. Other cultures around the world also have the giving of cash.

If you get invited to a Chinese wedding, do go. It's very interesting, I think you'll probably enjoy it. When it all comes down to it, it is all about the couple... okay and the bride's multiple dress changes, and the yum sing-ing, and the noise, and the colour, and the community, and the love. It's also about the only time I get to play mahjong (badly)!

It is, in my opinion, an 'experience'...to be honest I found it all a little too superficial and unwedding-like. I have to confess that I hope I'm not invited to another, we have been to a few between us now and they are all nearly identical...

However I am aware that this isn't my culture and I'm not knocking it...I just wouldn't want a wedding like that myself!

[imparanoic]

its just a different culture way of doing things, you could say that how is it unwedding like,
when you expect the guest to pay for their own drinks ( is that wedding like), or in malta, the wedding couple has to give gifts to the guest!!! (according the uk hsbc ad, i think)

[Claire ex-ax]

DanielandHayley, but we've all been to weddings which we have found appalling. At one we went to back in the UK, the bride reportedly rearranged the seating plan a few hours before the reception according to who bought what on her exceedingly expensive gift list. At another one, only VIP guests were given champagne to toast the couple, everyone else got sparkling wine; perhaps a cost-saving approach but it became obvious when the bride indicated to the waiters who which tables were to get the champagne.

But I have noticed that some couples are now asking for money in the UK. We got an invitation for one which included a bank a/c no. for monetary gifts towards a purchase of new car.

[DanielandHayley]

Originally Posted by Claire ex-ax

DanielandHayley, but we've all been to weddings which we have found appalling. At one we went to back in the UK, the bride reportedly rearranged the seating plan a few hours before the reception according to who bought what on her exceedingly expensive gift list. At another one, only VIP guests were given champagne to toast the couple, everyone else got sparkling wine; perhaps a cost-saving approach but it became obvious when the bride indicated to the waiters who which tables were to get the champagne.

But I have noticed that some couples are now asking for money in the UK. We got an invitation for one which included a bank a/c no. for monetary gifts towards a purchase of new car.

The best idea for wedding gifts that I have seen (back in UK) was a couple who sent a 'book' and on each page had a generic picture of an item they would like/needed, this ranged from single inexpensive items to more lavish gifts...the idea was that the book was passed around to each invited person and then you tore out the page of the gift you were planning to buy before passing/sending it on...there were many more pages than guests so the last person still had various choices! This also meant that if somebody tore out the picture of cutlery set for example, it was their choice how much they would like to spend on the set rather than having to buy a specific set at a price they may not be comfortable with...

[gunsnroses]

In India, espcially in my community there's a different trend, the invitation card specifically reads - no gifts, no bouquets and no cash. We only need your blessings.
I didnt get anything(no money, no gift and not even a flower) ...sigh!!!

[Mat]

Remember one thing (to people who say that Chinese wedding are all the same and artificial), you guys are usually invited ONLY to the banquet...prior to that there are a lot of things going on, starting the night before by the "comb ceremony", then in the morning the bride to be is taken away by the groom and his best men (after a sucession of games - rather funny usually)...this is usually followed by a Tea Ceremony at both parents house, and then everybody goes for the Pictures....after that comes Mahjong time for some of the guests (during this time the groom and bride get change...) and finally the Banquet.....so you only see part of it.

[MovingIn07]

Thanks to whoever started this thread - it's been fascinating. Depressing, but fascinating! What with this and the girly thread, I think I believe I understand chinese/HK culture less and less every day...

[Mat]

MovingIn07, was a bit like you at first but when you think about it, it isn't that bad...
In Western type of wedding you might end up with 3 similar vases and 2 table set etc.....
Here you give them money and then they do whatever they want with it....
Nothing really bad in this.

[Beuze]

I too think giving money is better than gift most of the couple we never use .. But as we do in my family you have no rule on how much you put and you don't put your name card inside the envelope when you drop it in the box. Usually the money is used for the honeymoon trip.

Here it seems they invite more people for more money i have been invited to wedding i couldn't even remember who the persons are !

[Star Gazer]

take it as a cultural thing plain and simple, and to respect that even though it does not make sense to us.

we can't simply go against the grain just because we think it is not right and not logical from the customs and traditions we grew up with.

chill!!