[kimdude]

yeah sure, never thought of them, i only thought of my own favourite. i will have to get some, cheers. so apart from languages, what are the things that will make him understand more about himself, about who he is and to be confident as he grows up.

[Mina917]

Kimdude - U shouldnt worry about ur son not being confident growing up in UK. Personally I think UK''s education&culture has a great way to help people building up confidence.
Regarding the whole being able to speak Cantonese issue, it'll be very difficult for him to try pick up 2 languages at the same time, esp with cantonese since he lives in Uk and all the surroundings r in english. I have cousins who r mixed race & full chinese, but when they r playing together, they only speak in English. Only the grandparents can force them to answer Yes & No in Chinese.
BUT, saying that, i have met a lot mixed race or BBCs at Uni who were very into the whole chinese culture. They were so keen in learning chinese and to see their chinese families. I guess u must want yr son to get into the chinese culture but i dont think u should 'force' him into it. When he start growing up and wonder about his own race, then u can teach him and tell him all about it properly.

[kimdude]

Originally Posted by Mina917

Kimdude - U shouldnt worry about ur son not being confident growing up in UK. Personally I think UK''s education&culture has a great way to help people building up confidence.
Regarding the whole being able to speak Cantonese issue, it'll be very difficult for him to try pick up 2 languages at the same time, esp with cantonese since he lives in Uk and all the surroundings r in english. I have cousins who r mixed race & full chinese, but when they r playing together, they only speak in English. Only the grandparents can force them to answer Yes & No in Chinese.
BUT, saying that, i have met a lot mixed race or BBCs at Uni who were very into the whole chinese culture. They were so keen in learning chinese and to see their chinese families. I guess u must want yr son to get into the chinese culture but i dont think u should 'force' him into it. When he start growing up and wonder about his own race, then u can teach him and tell him all about it properly.

thanks mina. i agree with what u say. same as everything we can only to do our best to encourage him to deal with life. and forcing him to learn is not the way to teach a kid.

[emperorau]

kimdude:

Yes, you shouldn't force your child. Like my parents got me into Chinese school for two years. My gosh. I'm like 5 years older than the children that were studying Cantonese. My gosh some of them are even better than me. The self-esteem really goes down after that. How can some 5 year old child get 100 while I get only 70. My gosh 70 is still a pass but parents want to see 100. So, don't force the scores or grades. Sometimes doing exams are really bad for some people while some people excel on exams. But don't yell your son for doing bad in those exams. Encouragement is the best thing.

First, you need to teach your son Cantonese along with Mandarin as well. You know Mandarin is getting big too. Teach your son Cantonese first then Mandarin. If your son ever plans to work in HK, he will need it. I think 20 years later most Chinese people in HK will know Mandarin. It just that China and HK are getting integrated now.

Anyway, you give your son more time to talk with you in Cantonese as well. When have the chance too, you can go on holiday with the family to HK. Stay for two weeks and let your son when he reaches the age of 16 wonder around HK with his friends.

But maybe can do one year exchange program in HK. But heck I am getting to ahead of myself. Your son is only 20 months old.
But heck it is good to plan though.

Watch out for the bombings in UK.

[kimdude]

ho emperorau

thanks for ur advice, yeah gosh, it is a heck of a plan for my 20 months old son. i definitely agree that encouragement is the best way.

i will definitely talk to him in cantonese whenever its possible. but with regard to mandarin, i am afraid my fluency level is as good as welsh. perhaps i can go to school with him when hes older and we can learn together.

anymore opinions and advice from u guys with daul heritage background? i really want to know ur experience, whether good or bad. thanks

[Mina917]

Kimdude - Im not sure where in UK u live in. But my uncle take my lil cousin to a chinese school in Gloucester or Cheltenham (sorry cant remember which one) every Sunday to learn Mandarin. He goes to an adult class and she attend a children class. It Seems really good.

[kimdude]

Originally Posted by Mina917

Kimdude - Im not sure where in UK u live in. But my uncle take my lil cousin to a chinese school in Gloucester or Cheltenham (sorry cant remember which one) every Sunday to learn Mandarin. He goes to an adult class and she attend a children class. It Seems really good.

we live in east midlands, there are a couple in nottingham and i heard they are quite good. will choose one and give it ago in a year or so.

[emperorau]

kimdude: no problem. But remember try to let your son trust you though. A lot of parents really only think them just a son rather than a very good friend that anything can be talk about. You really need to know what the trends are at his age. Like going to high school, what is he into or something like that. Try to know something about it so you can communicate with your son. I see a lot of children do not talk about their feelings with parents. Communication with children is one problematic part when growing up. Teenager years are the years when you need to talk. Because it is that time when children either turn bad.

Although not yet a father, I will marry this year. But I am a teacher sometimes I hear from my students that their parents don't even care too much about them.

Hope you have fun with mandarin when learning with your son.

[Djinn]

Oooo, I'm interupting again; I'm on a roll.

*ahem*
Aaanyway.

What is the other half?
Welsh

Do you think you have a problem with identity; you don't quite know who you are, or the reverse: you know a lot about yourself and have too much choices to choose from?
Eh........uh........never been an issue really, I'm far to much of a weirdo as is without resorting to the ol' ethnic identity issue.

Do you identify more with your Chinese side or the other side?
Eh, sort of neither acctually.
I am the result of the sum of my own experiences, more or less an all-round Brit (although most brits see me as the foreign toruist type once they get past the ridiculous engish accent).

Do you speak the language? (Cantonese/ Mandarin or other)
Nope, just english.
How exciting.

*sarcasm*

Also:
Did you grow up in HK?
For the first ten years, yes.

If not, what draws/drew/brought you to HK?
I still frequently visit, parents still live here so HK is still home base (for a little while longer anyway).

THAT all said, I'm only 19 so maybe it's not so much a factor for me; perhaps the generic lack of life experience means that each of my contituant half-backgrounds make for little more then eccentricities rather then warranting as the true hybridization of two cultural styles.

Or maybe I'm thinking about it to much.

[kaman102]

hey everyone! this is my story:

i was born in hk, did primary school in hk, then studied high school and university in australia for 6 yrs, came back to HK 1.5 yr ago, now studying University in hk.

most of my life is about fighting discrimination and sorting out confusions by myself. i look very eurasian, but my parents look very chinese. my parents are both from mainland china, they came to hk in their 20s. i have one older brother who looks quite mixed and a younger sister who looks very chinese.

as a child, i had an extremely tough time here in hk. i was often bullied at school (that school was a co-ed one in aberdeen, and there're only "local" ethnically-chinese hk kids). my hair was brown and curly, and the teachers would often ask me what happened with my hair. the other kids always wanted to come to my home so that they could see my parents to find out why i have a 'tall' nose, big eyes and fair skin.

during that time i had no idea what 'mixed people' means. i remembered going to tutorial centre and the tutor spent days urging me to go home and ask my parents "what blood do i have". i did ask my parents, but they're both from single families, and don't know much about their own family history. my mother doesn't even know her grandparents' names. so i have no idea if there was any european ancestors in our family or not. childhood in hk was a time full of confusions about "identity".

yeh, so then in australia, neither the chinese nor the hk people fully accepted me as a hker without judging me. i went to work part-time in chinese restaurants and it was hell. the other chinese workers gave me many hard times. they'd asked me 'what are you??'. when i replied i am chinese, they'd say i am not fully chinese and must be mixed. sometimes people say very offensive things like my grandma was raped by an european during the war so that's why i look so mixed. -_-
and yet to the australians, i was definitely a chinese. so it felt like there was nowhere for me to fit in.

i can tell u, since i came back to hk 1.5 yr ago, i still feel that i am battling with this whole 'u are not chinese, u must be mixed' judgement from many hk people. whether it's job interviews, getting a new pair of glasses, shopping for makeup, dining out...people can be really offensive and sometimes i get so angry i cried. i hate that i have no exact idea about my heritage. mixed people can at least say 'oh yeh i am half british half chinese' and stuff, but people judge me a lot and ask me tons of questions when i say that i am a hker.

still now, my university-mates always tell me i look too mixed and that i should head back to mainland china to "find my root". for christ's sake, i ain't no tree.

so personally i don't think i am feeling so comfortable living in hk. the only places i don't really need to insist and explain about my chinese heritage are lan kwai fong and soho. and that's why i am always hanging around there ;-)