[hanako]

I have been living in HK for nearly 2 years since my husband was transfaredand here, and am quite satisfied with my life so far.
Since I am quite open-minded & friendly person, I met lots of ppl and made friends with ppl from different countries in HK - met friends' friends, on-line, pal-site, etc. They are all nice and I can call most of them 'friends'.
But when I talk with friends who are also expat, many of them say that it is difficult to find ppl who they can really call 'friends' here. I think it is true though they have millions of 'ppl who they know' here.
Maybe I am greedy, and I have too much time cause my husband is a really busy person (I work as well though), but I want more ppl and look for true friend while I am living here.
I would like to ask you, how did you find friends or do you know a good idea or site which you can find new friends? Do you find it difficult to find true friends here?

[reei]

hi,
i think it depends on what is your definition of 'true friends'. i don't have a definition for true friends. when i needed help, friends that i thought were true friends didn't help and friends that i thought were not true friends, did help. so i don't know who my true friends are here. since i don't know who are my true friends,, and not many friends here, i bought myself a dog... one that i hope, will be my true friend.
i believe making friends, should be something that comes naturally, like .. if you have some common interest.. like go knitting together, as time goes by, get to know each other and be better friends? perhaps, i have poor social skill ,i just don't know how to make friends.. but able to survive here for the last ... 6 months.

[tex]

i think it comes down to time. my "true friends" are the ones i've known longest.they've seen me in different life phases, i've been there for them and they for me, we've had lots of laughs together, we've disappointed one another at times but in the end have stuck together. being an expat and moving around often makes it difficult to nurture new "true friends". think only over time can you develop a true friendship.

but the nice thing in this is that many expats know we are all in the same boat and do recognise that we are here without our true friends so when push comes to shove we must step up and help one another.

[happijoijoi]

I believe time can develope friendship. It takes time to know each others.

[hanako]

Thanks everyone! I am now thinking about friends, and yes, some are my true friends but they may be not always help me when I am in trouble...it depends on the situation. And I think it might be good that I have many kinds of friends - for chatting, for drinking, for events, for group activities, for talking in deep topic, for sports...thinking like that, I think I have quite a lot of friends. So...maybe what I want now is a big group of friends who can share the party time with me...

[jfoeng]

Hi, everyone, my name is John, I am 26. I am new to this website, I hope what I am doing now will work out fine. : )

Well, I am a local Chinese, first of all, but I was living in US for 2 years, now working for a Japanese Company. The reason I am here, is that I would love to make some new western friends here to broaden my social life.

Hopefully my local expertise can be beneficial to your life here! : )

my e-mail is <jfoeng@hotmail.com>

[KnowItAll]

Hi John,

Join us for a happy hour drink one of these days.

You'll meet plenty of people who are new to Hong Kong and those who have lived in Hong Kong for decades.

Someone who used to live in Hong Kong reminded me -- Hong Kong is one of those places where you can have thousands of accquaintances and few friends.

[jfoeng]

To know it all,

thanks for inviting me. Yes, Hong Kong is a "big" city, everyone seems so busy and no time for "friends", well, I have to say so, even though I am a local Chinese!

[mahindu]

hai everyone,
even i am new to this site and would like to make new friends. i am an indian and would like to make foreign friends if anybody interested pls e-mail me at mahindu_hk@yahoo.com

[Jessica Adams]

It may be correct to say that it's difficult to get 'true friends' in HK, but it may also not correct to say so. I am a local and have been on and off trying to meet nice and decent friends (with locals & expats) and I have had both bad luck & good luck. I would like to share some of my ‘experience’, which may not be all correct. Just a sharing though.

Personally, I think some people have problem in having friends with whom you can talk sensibly and hang out like 'normal mates' (or what you say 'true' friends here) is because they limit their gathering to 'clubbing'. (I admit that I, like the majority of people, usually start the first few gatherings in pubs where give you noisy atmosphere to kill off dead-airs, if any) Every time they meet, they meet in a pub, drink and then talk, laugh a lot and say goodbye. When you get up next morning, you can hardly recall any 'significant things' you have talked to these people. However, you go on having these kind of meet ups for a while then get frustrated because these bunch of friends seem like "friends can only having fun but no more".

And, some people just sit at home after attending some gatherings rather than inviting your new friends out for more exploration of their character, their hobbies, etc. So it ends up feeling the same - no friends.

We are all different - the reason we can be friends with someone but not with some others because we share something similar (hobbies, chat topics, life values, jokes, background whatever). If I notice someone whom I think I can befriend, instead of going to pubs, I will try to do other stuff with them, such as playing sports, hiking, beaching, going to the movies, or, if I know they live close-by, I will simply ask them out for a cup of coffee to spend a lazy afternoon in chats, etc. Then gradually, you will get a better idea if you guys can really get along together by the time you have contacts more in a varied ways, I mean in a ‘varied’ ways! Sometimes I have bad luck because either myself or my friends lost interest in meeting up so friendship has gone; but I also have made some really good friends and still keep contacts on and off, which I consider 'good luck'.

Anyway, it takes two to tango. When you find someone you like to befriend, you have to see if that person feels the same for you. You can't force it. Friendship grows naturally but we also need to give some efforts and, most importantly, sincerity. Personally, if someone only want to meet up for drinks but nothing else, from my own experience, there is very remote chance to build up ‘true’ friendship with them. It is not difficult to meet new people (from this site, for example), but you have to know how to develop it into 'friendship'.