[erictby]

Originally Posted by ontheroad

I'd love to meet more locals, but in my street for example, they don't hang out at the bus stop, or the playground, or the supermarket, or the coffeeshop, they tend to send their helpers to do everything for them, so it's hard to meet them. I know all the helpers though!

That's why. You selected the area full of expat plus some local. Hardly for you to get local since they trend to pretend 'class' people. If you are in mainly local area then the situation different, you will get a lot helpful local.

Step out your first step before the other.

I don't think you will get help, if you didn't approach them. The same for local and expat. But definitely have some local try to run always from you, not because they don't want to help but they can't communicate with you (language problem).

[erictby]

Originally Posted by carang

i've explained to my hubby that no matter how long i live in HK the vast majority of HKer's will automatically assume that i'm a tourist... why is that you ask?
simple. my white skin. it will NEVER change.

it's not the same mentality when a Hker relocates to canada. canadians will assume they are canadian.

also the fact that in the 12 years that i've lived here, SO MANY friends have relocated elsewhere. it is a very transient life for expats here, no matter how long they stay.

because he is a local here, my hubby will never truly understand what it's like to have to continuously try to make new friends because old ones have left.

Being a friend can be a very short while. Partner for long time or lifelong.

Why your hubby so particular for the time length? Nobody know what will happen tomorrow, current is much more important.

I have same skin colour with local, but people who don't know me still assume i am a tourist. What's wrong if someone assume you are tourist? After know each other, they will know you.

Relatively I more enjoyed people treat me as tourist.

[carang]

ummmm....HUH?
sorry, didn't understand what you meant at all...please rephrase.

(ps. after 12 years, i wish that some of the great friends that i've met here were still here, it gets lonely sometimes!)

[erictby]

Originally Posted by carang

ummmm....HUH?
sorry, didn't understand what you meant at all...please rephrase.

(ps. after 12 years, i wish that some of the great friends that i've met here were still here, it gets lonely sometimes!)

Yes, of course, everyone hope their great friends will with them for a long time, maybe forever. But sometime we don't need to spent a long time to make somebody our friend. And as a friend, we don't need to kept our friend around us. The friendship can be kept in our mind. Some of friends, even we meet them once or twice only but we will missed them forever. Some of friends, even we meet them everyday but we won't remember them after separated.

As a partner, example your life partner, that is a forever/lifelong relation. Or your business partner that a very long time relation also.

Be a friend, the relation can be very long or very short. Old friends leaving, new friends will come in. No big deals. Why insist for long relation only? We don't knows what will happen tomorrow, maybe we are the people whose leaving on tomorrow. Since we can't predict our future, then why not we live happily for today. Don't think about your friend who leave you already, just aim for new friends that can bring you happiness for today.

You are unhappy with local who still assuming you as a tourist because of your skin colour, that not a problem for me if I was in your position. What the problem people assuming you are a tourist?

For me, even I have same skin colour with local people but they trend to assume I am a tourist also.

After mixed up with them, after we knows each others, they didn't assuming I am a tourist anymore. But people whom don't knows me, still continue assuming I am a tourist.

Being treated as a "tourist", I quite enjoy it. Example, while I search for a new restaurant with my street map book, I can easily asked local for the direction, they are happy and polite to answer me since I am a "tourist". I don't need to feel shy to ask, since I am a "tourist". If they know you are a HK resident for 12 years, but still ask for direction, they will stared you from your toes to your head. In some restaurant, I can enjoy faster respond from waiter since they assuming I am a "tourist" who will give them more tipping. But, this "tourist" prevaillages can be used once or twice only at one restaurant, after few visit will get back normal service. So, why not be a "tourist".

[hello_there]

Originally Posted by erictby

Your housewife can learn some local cooking...

Perfect example of why we like expat communities - other expats do not refer to spouses as possessions. Or assume that all wives enjoy, or have time to, cook.

[timklip]

Originally Posted by hello_there

Perfect example of why we like expat communities - other expats do not refer to spouses as possessions. Or assume that all wives enjoy, or have time to, cook.

yes erictby...from now on please use the more PC term 'the female human being to whom you are married' or for short 'TFHBTWYAM'...hopefully that will satisfy everyone...

and be aware that when you refer to one TFHBTWYAM, you are automatically referring to every TFHBTWYAM on the planet...not sure how you can get around this one...save for never referring to anyone about anything ever...

[hello_there]

Originally Posted by timklip

yes erictby...from now on please use the more PC term 'the female human being to whom you are married' or for short 'TFHBTWYAM'...hopefully that will satisfy everyone...

and be aware that when you refer to one TFHBTWYAM, you are automatically referring to every TFHBTWYAM on the planet...not sure how you can get around this one...save for never referring to anyone about anything ever...

Actually, "wife" is fine. Housewife, as he used it, is offensive.

[sunniefaith]

Originally Posted by carang

ummmm....HUH?
sorry, didn't understand what you meant at all...please rephrase.

(ps. after 12 years, i wish that some of the great friends that i've met here were still here, it gets lonely sometimes!)

I agree with you. I've been here less than a year and already a couple of my friends have left and maybe another one might be leaving and it can be hard making friends all the time.

[HKChigger]

Originally Posted by hello_there

Perfect example of why we like expat communities - other expats do not refer to spouses as possessions. Or assume that all wives enjoy, or have time to, cook.

Not sure if you guys know but housewife is considered kind of a job title. Some application forms you get that ask your occupation may have something like: Teacher Firefighter Clerk Worker Housewife for example.

Housewife (or Househusband) in a nutshell: A person who doesn't work and their wife/husband goes to work and makes ends meat for the whole family. So the housewife/Househusband normally stays home, takes care of the kids, cleans and cooks.

I sure hope the housewife/househusband has time to cook! Otherwise they are in to way too many social activities!

[ontheroad]

Originally Posted by erictby

What's the different for temporary or permanent? You still have to mixed up with people in both situation. In "expat community", you meet other expat; in normal community, you meet local and maybe expat. Or you just keep yourself out of people.

For family and young kids, the same. Local didn't have family or kids to take care?

Your kids will exposed to different culture while play with different culture and background kids.

Your housewife can learn some local cooking...

Of course, it's not that easy to get the things done. But, let say 20 times you try, I won't think none 1 success.

People always are ego. In their mind, always think, "Why I have to meet them? I have high education, they are not educated / I have high income, they are poor /I am high 'class' people, they are low 'class' people...etc". Mixed up with these kind of people didn't bring any benefit to me, they will bring down my 'class'.

Maybe I am too optimism. I belief this world have more good guys than bad guys, even sometime being cheated or bullied.

I find this post incredibly insulting. It presumes that we "white folk" are racist snobs who believe that locals are beneath us, which is total b*llsh*t.

It also presumes that expat women are housewives who don't have much more to learn from the locals than recipes from their taitai neighbours (who actually don't cook, since their helpers do it for them). You would be surprised to know that outside of cooking (and cleaning) we are also interested in books, arts, culture, politics etc.

Also, thanks for the tip, but my kids have lived in 6 different countries, so they know all about different cultures and backgrounds. You could actually learn a thing or two from them about being openminded about other cultures.