[kombuchakid]

He who knows all, knows nothing
He who knows nothing, knows all
He, who knows all yet knows that he
knows nothing, knows himself

It takes all kinds to make up this unique office space of ours. It is with this generous thought in mind, we have created this 'How to tackle' series. The first of this series gives you tips on tackling the know-it-alls.

Classic

They are the genuine articles - the ones who really know it all but often only about one particular subject. Harmless but gets aggressive when their spaces are encroached or poached on. You can identify them by the dim-witted expression on their face when topics other than theirs are discussed.

Or by the way they turn every conversation into a discussion of their passion. For eg: a cricket fanatic can quite adeptly twist the fall of the Vajpayee government into a discussion of the disastrous collapse of the middle order batting of the Indian cricket team.

How to deal: Best way is stay out of their space. But their vast reserves of knowledge can be effectively used for career enhancement. For instance, you can effectively use his expertise on cricket to impress your 'cricket-fanatic' boss.

Regular

The Internet surfers, the ones in tune with the grapevine, the trivia masters with vital stats of everybody and everything on the tip of the tongue. They know every secret, every nuance, every change in the office before it goes public. They know every celebrity, every character in Ekta Kapoor's serials, every cabinet minister's name and their asset holdings.

How to deal: They are mildly irritating but when used intelligently can be a boost to your position in the office. They could be icing on your cake.

Sound them out on who's in power in the office; or use their latest hot-off-the-wire news to impress lesser species in the office. But do not expect in-depth, analytical information. Best used with Classic species for maximum effect. Also helpful as social aids at boring parties.

Specialist

They are a notch higher than Regulars. They are the regulars with opinions. They not only know the news but also have decided opinions on what happened and how it happened. They fall under two sub-categories.

The Cynics who feel that everybody is doing everything wrong and insist on filling in with what they think should have been done and the Rose-Coloured who are lyrically optimistic about everything and anything.

How to deal: Highly irritating species with nothing but nuisance value. You can use to settle your quarrels by foisting them on to your enemies. But the best way is to ignore them but this requires considerable cooperation from your other colleagues like for example, a coordinated deafness, which strikes as soon as these specialists open their mouths.

Super-specialist

They are the ones who take your cake and your goat too. A highly aggressive class, they encroach on any space, any discussion to air their opinions. They would not only claim to know what had happened but they would also claim to know that it was going to happen. They knew Sonia Gandhi was going to be the PM just as they knew that she would give it all up.

And just as they knew that Manmohan will ultimately be the lucky Singh. They are the people who have graduated from the lower echelons from a classic to a super-specialist. They are the ones who know that they are running the office.

How to deal: Usually such colleagues are your equal or your senior so the blunt-instrument-on-the-head choice while tempting would be a little too violent. You can either write it off to destiny or take to Art of the living courses.

The boss

He who knows himself, knows when to shut up and suck up to the boss.

Tip: Form an anti-know-it-all group and bitch about them in the canteen, conference room or the loo - a healthy release of your frustrated pent up feelings.

http://babyurl.com/xYM3f5

[KnowItAll]

The simplest way to tackle this know it all is to offer him a drink.

[FallingStar]

Originally Posted by KnowItAll

The simplest way to tackle this know it all is to offer him a drink.

Can I buy u a drink Mr?
hiihihih sound like a pick up line for me lol

[HKFella]

good one, FallingStar - seems you know it all!

[kombuchakid]

THE KNOW IT ALL

"What is poetry, and don't poets always lie?"
The Youth with the Golden Pen demanded to know.
He wants me to believe that he can always see
Beauty and light, even where the shadows flow.

"Could be. You may be right," was my reply.
"It all depends on how and where you look," I said.
"One man is anguished when the last leaves die,
But another dances at a friend's death bed."

The youth listened, but could not comprehend
My words, although they're plain as A-B-C.
And with a nudge, he said, "My friend,
That's a lie. I, too, write poetry."

"Colleague," I said, "We must take great care
with words, if we hope for poetic verity.
A poem can make a pig shine like a star,
But no pig has ever written poetry."

[kombuchakid]

got this as a result of this thread, so thought it should be here, and also because it is a most humongous cartoon I have ever seen.....from some religious site....gospel net or some such

[FallingStar]

hiihihihih
is that mean Mr. Know it all = god????