In which they're "totally f@!*ing oblivious!"

I witnessed the complete and total meltdown of a British woman at the grocery store today. To be fair, I believe she was only acting on what most westerners here feel but she did freak out in a most spectacular fashion!

Everyone talks about the "hustle and bustle" of a big city. I confess that I don't really know what "bustle" is but for the sake of argument I am willing to concede that Hong Kong has it. There's 7 million people here so there's gotta be at least a bit of bustle.

The thing is, I'm not seeing alot of hustle and I think that, combined with a noticeable lack of concern for others on the part of most HK locals, is what built up over time and finally led the old girl to lose her mind at the Park-n-Shop today.

First, I have to say that I don't know why it's endemic to the culture here but there's a kind of rudeness that occurs regularly. Given that people here are known for their politeness during conversation it's a really weird dichotomy.

For example, If you're trying to get on the train there will be no order about it. Let the shoving begin! I guess that's not so bad but you shouldn't have to shove past people who are trying to get on the train while you're trying to get OFF the train. Correct me if I'm wrong but in most places the people exiting get off first. If for no other reason than that in this manner the people getting on will have a place to sit! Not so, Hong Kong.

Cutting in line is represented with abundance here as well, doesn't matter what it's for. I had an old guy cut in front of me while I was trying to pay a bill once.

Wanna be infuriated? Try getting past past Hong Kongers when they're idling sloooooooowly down the street or pursuing the national pastime- shopping. In the street the younger people seem to love to use their cell phones to text people or check websites but that doesn't mean that they make way for people who actually want to walk faster than paint dries. Nope, they walk right down the center of the sidewalk. And anyone older than 40, well, they go so slow that they just appear to be lost at all times. Which wouldn't be so bad if it didn't also seem that they thought they were alone on the sidewalk while lost.

At ATMS? Hell, you'd think they're trying to solve Fermat's last theorem.

Worse than navigating the street, though, is definitely a trip to a busy supermarket (and they're all busy, all of the time). I'm not sure what the ratio of the ignorance-to-selfishness-to-pure arrogance mixture is but these folks think nothing of leaving their shopping carts right in the middle of the already narrower-than-in-the-west aisles and wandering off to stare at something on the shelf for 8 minutes. Or they'll still have their cart in the middle of the aisle but they'll be pushing it torturously slow while seemingly inspecting the shelves for imperfections.

There's simply no concern for sharing space with the people all around you like there is in the rest of the world. Not once have I had someone turn around, notice me and move their cart to the side. Sure, they've turned around and noticed me, but that's where it ended. And, alas, everybody seems to be lost in the grocery store as well.

Anyway, I was at the Park-n-shop this afternoon. It really IS frustrating there because everyone moves so slow and no matter where you go someone is blocking your progress while appearing to be pondering the meaning of life. I mostly just wander around trying to buy my stuff while closing my eyes and trying to be patient while muttering stuff like "aw, here we go...for God's sake......I'm just trying to buy a friggin' grapefruit here people....aww boy......come on lady, Jesus......"

Finally at the checkout counter, I pull my cart up behind the British woman who seems as frustrated as I am when a local HK lady just bangs her cart right into both of ours trying to get through when she had all the space and opportunity in the world to go around us and we had nowhere to go by virtue of being in the checkout line. What the hell is this, bumper cars? I was shocked speechless. Not so for m'lady. Nope. This was the very last nerve she had left. Turns out she was WAYYYYY more frustrated than I was. And had something to say about it.

As it happens, Lady Shoppington turns beet red, begins to quake, lets out an unintelligible kind of primal scream that I'm sure didn't go unnoticed in Moscow and proceeds to screech in a comical British accent.......

"Right! You BASTARDS! You're ALL totally F*#!ing oblivious aren't you?!?!?!? Am I invisible?? Is that it?? Am I F*#!ing invisible to you?!? Has nobody noticed me trying to squeeze by their carts while they've got it parked in the middle aisle?? Am I so miniscule that I have somehow escaped the gaze of the silly old cow just ahead who cut in front of me in the checkout queue?!!! Well, you can all bloody well SOD IT!! You're all a bunch of rude, obnoxious bastards and f*#! OFF !!!!"

A bit over the top, I felt, but I laughed and clapped as she stormed off anyway!

Then I wrote it all down on a a napkin for your enjoyment ;-)

Well done, Lady Shoppington. Well done.